As much as I would like to feel clever today, the truth is this is about starting over. The unique thing about this restart is that it's not from the very beginning. Nope, I'm coming into this semester without the stress or excitement of something completely unknown. Actually, I know it well, I know what I like and I know what I don't. I have experience, which I'm finding is that this completely changes my perspective.
And as much as I would like to be cool, calm, and collected, my mind is scattered from the aftermath of last semester. I always have goals, direct goals. Goals that actually have some kind of point that go somewhere specific. After finishing anatomy, it's like I lost my anchor. Which I'm finding is code for I actually have to think about what I truly want now because I have time. I spent winter break relaxing and hoping to clear my brain by the time spring semester started up, but that wasn't in the cards. So here I am, still clearing my brain three weeks in and semi-uncomfortable about what I'm finding.
Don't get me wrong, I'm functioning just fine, and I'm truly enjoying my classes. Graphic Design is amazing, I'm learning things completely new to me. It's fresh, exciting, and I can feel myself gaining skills that are applicable to the work I want to do in the future. I think that's the main thing, I'm getting the itch to be in the workplace and out of school. I've never stopped being a student, I only have the perspective of being a student. It's starting to feel less fulfilling. Letting myself explore options, even just hypothetically, that are different then what I was thinking before is scary as heck. But those are the perks of beginning again. Thinking about things that make you uncomfortable. Hooray!